Broken...

“What do you think, nothing hurts me?” , he said.

The only line he could come out with for a long time. Everything else was lost behind the tears he was trying hard to control. He closed his eyes, wishing, for that one moment, that she would disappear, cease to exist, and so would his world

She was in a fit of rage, and it wasn’t entirely her fault. For some things, she had reason to blame. Some of it was probably just the negative feelings that had been bottled up within her. They hadn’t had their share of quality time together for a long time now. And both of them were beginning to complain, one vocally, throwing tantrums and the other in silence.

All the reasons that had got her to shouting out loud, hurt him too, and so did her words. He felt shattered. The relationship that they had so lovingly built seemed to be crumbling. She had said she did not feel loved anymore. And that’s what pricked, stabbed at his heart. That’s where the dam broke. How was he to tell her that he was mad about her? That nothing apart from her mattered. That all that he did was for her. And that she was the constant thought in his mind, day in and day out.

She had shouted till she couldn’t have gone further. She had broken down too and begged for forgiveness. His pain reflected in her eyes. He could see that she was repenting.

He had asked himself one simple question when she was done shouting at him. Did he still love her? The answer had come to him instantly. Yes. Did she deserve to be punished? Maybe. But he wouldn’t. He knew they could work it out. All that it needed was a little bit of time, patience and understanding.

Looking out from the balcony, his thoughts were only about her and how he could make up for what they had lost. He had promised her his entire life. And he was going to keep the promise. Nothing, nothing could make him think otherwise.

Silence....

Sitting in that dark corner of her room, she thought about the day when she had first met him. The argument they had back then had united them though they were fighting with each other. And there was today’s argument. They were fighting for the same cause, their grounds were the same and so was their battle. Yet, they were being torn apart. This time, the nature of the argument was personal. It wasn’t about their difference of opinion. What stood between them was the difficulty of being together, to be able to devote enough time to the relationship without having to compromise on their careers, which was taking them both to new heights with every passing day.

She had lashed out at him. Her words had dripped with acid and she inflicted wound upon wound on him. She had seethed with anger because she couldn’t see a solution to their problem, except for maybe giving up on their relationship. And that was the one thing that she wasn’t prepared for. She loved him. She was crazy about him. She knew she could find no other like him. Her words had whipped him till he had tears in his eyes. That is when the horror of her action stuck her. But it was too late. She had gone way ahead. There was no coming back.

She begged for forgiveness. She got it too. Such was the man. But she could not come to forgive herself. She had tarnished the beauty of the bond and she knew that the wound would never heal completely.

Here she sat, feeling lost and lonely, playing with a loose strand of hair, recollecting the times when she had laid her head in his lap and he ran his fingers through her curls… when their words and silence both had equal understanding.

MY THESIS ON LOVE

“Love is not finding someone to live with. It’s about finding a person whom we cant live without!!”

Love is not a weakness. It is the pillar of strength for every life. Such a small word! Yet, so powerful. Love is what makes the world go round. Just, as I say the word, I see varied expressions all about me. I see fire rising in some cheeks. On some, a passing glimpse of a faint smile. While some eyes are caught a few degrees lower, there are a few which are bold enough to look up and dare the world to challenge their love. I have met many who toss their head nonchalantly and shrug their shoulders at the mere mention of the word. But, let me tell you that those who put on a mask of their carefree attitude towards love are the ones who care the most about it. This proves that there are none in this world who don’t react to the word. All those who manage to keep a straight face are worthy of the Oscars. And those who actually manage to murder any thought or general feeling towards love are stone cold dead.

Love has an aura of its own. A sweet fragrance-from the lily to the wild flowers. When the sea is at calm and alls tranquil within the being, it’s the lily that appeals. And the wild flowers signify stronger emotions like jealousy and passion. Love is hope-a soaring bird. Love is like the essence that can’t be bottled up. Love is what you can hear even in the rustling of the leaves. It spreads within like a rippling cascade. It is the only emotion which is satisfying to both-the heart and the mind, though neither seem to be in agreement when you are in love.

Over the years, the word has been stereotyped to the boy-girl love. Is it not reason to lament that the meaning has been confined to such a small extent. Why have people forgotten that all of us were born with love? Didn’t our angel shower all the love upon us? Love is not only shown through the 3 words-‘I love you’, it is action that speaks louder than words.

Isn’t mothers love, the biggest example for this? Dear mamma's caress, her tender care, her gentle smile, her knowing eyes and all that she does unasked for her child, is nothing but a form of love. It is our first dose of love, to which most of us are blind, even unaware, because to us it is more like maternal duty. This is something which we will never be able to repay, how much ever we earn. Love sought is good, but given unsought is better still.

What is a bond that binds a child to the father? It is love. His eyes are moist as he first holds the baby. The child has conquered the man. A feat achieved, which none other could dare. The desire to give the best to his child he slogs like a slave. Oh! The expectations that build up inside the fierce heart. Here begins a new life. The soul divides. One lives in the father and the other in the child. A father’s love is ambition!

Ever seen the great love between siblings? No you will never see it, because it is invisible to all except for those who experience it. Pulling each others hair till you have a fistful of it and throwing punches at each other is something they enjoy and others gape at. But, this is just what gets them closer to understand, share and to discuss out their problems. A similar someone by your side makes you feel so special about yourself. How bugging is it when an elder brother or sister gives you a non stop commentary on how to do things in the so called “right-way”. Love is a teacher. It teaches you the small lessons of daily life. Have you ever noticed that you become the center of attention for your parents when you are injured? But, your sibling gets mad at you, screams his/her head off and comments upon your carelessness and nags you. You might as well hate him/her for it. But, look into his eyes and you will immediately seethe pain they are undergoing, seeing you hurt. It’s just their way of letting you know how much they love you. Their life wouldn’t be worthwhile without you. The elder child never stops treating the younger one like a fledgling under the mother’s wing, even though the age gap might not be more than a year. The baby of the house is not just another bundle of joy, it is a duty given to the elder one- the one who must never cease to care, never cease to love, even though he might find the younger one a nasty pain in the neck. Loving is caring. Try as might as they may to hate each other, they will still find themselves bound by the cohesive forces of love.

It is said that grandparents love is incomparable because it is the only kind of love that has no expectations. Then why should I reduce its value by comparing it?

A single bond of love is what holds people together. What should I say about a friends love? There is but a thin line between true friendship and love. I prefer not to do injustice to either of them. So, the best thing to do is to leave it unsaid here. The hearts understand each other well enough to understand this.

The boy-girl love has been termed ‘blind’. It is most likely that in this case you will that most of your sense organs have failed. This is because; this is the only type of love that you are unaware of until you experience it. You cannot feel its joy till you have discovered it. And it takes you several years to bump into it. Be thankful that you did bump into it because:

“Having fallen in love and failed is bad,

But not to have experienced it at all is worse still”.

It is not the ability to think, but also the power to love that makes man an outstanding being.

Love is eternal.

Yet, after so many words, I think……………love is undefined.