Of Sizes and Shapes

120 pounds, 65 inches, size 6… In this new era of washboard abs and size zero - incense stick figures, I sound like a heavy-weight champion :O Maybe I should compete for the world’s fattest woman. That’s how I feel even with only 4 sizes smaller and 17 bigger sizes categorized in the size chart.

All throughout my years of adolescence I kept worrying about the baby fat I had. Looking back at pics of that time, I classify myself as a baby-elephant, at least going by my current stats.

Another 1-2 kgs shed, and my insides will be sticking to each other, there will be no space for the food through pass through. I will disappear into nothing-ness. I am beginning to remind myself of those cartoons, where a vehicle tramples you and you go flat, waiting to be inflated with air to get back into shape.

I am soon going to get myself a personal - no not trainer, a personal tailor to stop making my dresses look like gunny bags. I am not going to be able to shop for branded clothes anymore. They sell only size 8 and above in India for adults :-/ And I don’t fit into clothes meant for the kiddos and teeny-weenies. I feel like I am grotesquely deformed.

I kind of miss the fat I had. At least it was easier to sit. My bones didn’t hurt me back then. Long back I used to look in envy at women with curves at the right places. I still envy them. Wrong or right, I had curves back then. Now I just fit into the category of “column” amongst the 12 body types that exist? Straight parallel lines, no curves.

Did I say ‘Shapes’ in the title? Sorry. Erase that. Straight lines aren’t considered as shapes.

Where has the era of shapely women gone? Where have all my lipids dissolved? Why has the day dawned where I am cribbing about my stats and my shape (as usual) and still wondering if it is worth losing another few pounds…

P.S: I haven’t given up eating on anything yummy like chocolates, ice-creams or doughnuts!!

P.P.S: There was a time when a small bell would ring in my head if I indulged too much. I can’t hear the bell anymore 

P.P.P.S: Hoping to return all round and cherubic after Diwali.

The last P.S : Initially this blog was supposed to be a blog telling people to ditch the size zero idea. It’s come to this because I don’t find myself eligible for it anymore.