Bhaiya-ji smile please…..

Our team had our project – party yesterday and we watched ‘Dabangg’. Now, I don’t know if ‘watched’ is the correct word to be used. We saw less and commented more. The whole group of 16 people could be categorized as ‘yappy yarn-ers’, people who cant shut their traps all through the movie, a term coined by a friend. All of us, including me who was not really interested in watching the movie, in the first place, and had expected the movie to be a drag, found the movie to be one of the most comic movies we had seen.

You might have to probably watch the movie again to make note of all the hilarious scenes we found in the movie.

The movie was a brand ambassador to two things:

1. The pencil thin moustache that Salman Khan sported. This has been a much talked about look of his. Somehow, everybody, I noticed in the village of Laalgunj sported the same moustache. Maybe the village barber knew how to shape them only in one style :O Anybody wanting a mucchi like that, please go to Laalgunj’s only barber.

2. The Ray-Ban aviators. The hero, the villain, the son, the dad… everybody had them. Thankfully the heroines didn’t have them on :P

Sitting next to a person running a non-stop commentary can be so much fun. It was my lucky day.

The story is about two brothers who grow up with feelings of sibling-rivalry. The younger one is called Makkhi – kept reminding me of a fly ever time his name was mentioned. And the elder one (Salman Khan) is called Chulbul Pandey– which was just an out of character name for him.

The SK Dabangg look was much awaited when the promos had come, but I found SK to have grown a comfortable paunch rather than his fit self (except for the last fight scene) .

“Woh caller tune to forward karna…” SK doesn’t know the difference between a caller tune and a ring tone. Sallu baba, kisi ne bataya nahi aapko, caller tune bahar sunai nahi deti hai, jo sunai deti hai use ring tone kehte hain.

Dabangg Dabangg Dabangg…. (title song)

S: Lag raha hai Dabangg k meaning pe KT de raha hai.

S: Aur yeh kya hai. Apne aap ko Madhuri Dixit samajh raha hai kya? Ye step to chane-k-khet me vale gaane ka step hai.

And honestly, it did remind me of Madhuri Dixit’s dance step.

Another comical name was the villain’s name, Hol(e)y Singh, I mean Chedi Singh. Chedi Singh se mujhe yaad aaya… oh! chuck it… mein gande joke nahi sunati.

‘S’ happened to notice that we could send SK to the Olympics, he would straight-away win gold medals in long jump, shooting, javelin throw and shot-put. The action scenes in the movie defied all of Newton’s laws. And I think it’s time Rajnikanth realizes he has got competition.

Did nobody tell SK that he looks like a gorilla trying to walk broadening his shoulders, more than necessary? Mr. Gorilla walks down to the heroine, tries impressing her, and proposes her. She refuses to marry him till her father is alive. SK replies back saying, “hum babuji k parlok padharne ka intazaar karenge”, and the heroine smiles coyly. Tch tch tch… kaise din aa gaye hain…. (deliberately mis-interpreted :D)

Vicco turmeric, nahi cosmetic, vicco turmeric, ayurvedic cream. Kheel muhason ko jad se mitay, haldi aur chandan k gun isme samay, vicco turmeric ayurvedic cream.

Don’t look so confused. It’s the interval. Logon ko jo dete hain vo padhte hain. Vo bhi tune k sath. :P

Don’t ask me where our dirty minds went to when lines from the script came like: “Kuch karna hi nahi, to humka bulay hi kyun ho”… and “Istamaal hone ka invitation diya tha kya…” and when the song came… “Munni badnaam hui…”

I don’t remember the complete dialog… “Kamaal karte ho ladki k baapu….something something”. This was one of those dialogs that could give takkar to “Sunti ho munne ki mummy…..” Didn’t these people learn to talk in first person?

All throughout the movie I felt there was a missing factor, it was not a proper SK movie. And then I realized why. There was not a single bare-chested scene of his. Jitney aise scenes they voh to Sonu Sood k they.

Arey.. arey… I know picture abhi baaki hai mere dost.

The last scene. SK turns breaks through the floor and comes up like he has been launched from a rocket propeller. The regular dhishum-dhishum scenes follow… and then, the clothes that I had been thinking would tear since the movie started (they were way too tight in the first place) actually tore off. Now it’s Mr. Hulk’s time to show off his body. SK fans wouldn’t have been able to peel their eyes off.

Another new way of killing somebody was discovered by the movie industry – fill a person’s lungs with carbon monoxide and you are done (shayad SK ki hi koi purani movie me maine dekha tha k they burst somebody by filling that person’s body with water through a hose pipe….eeeewww)

Like a typical Hindi movie, there had to be a happy ending to it. And so it was.

P.S : Any people planning to go for project parties, please take this as a warning and don’t go to this movie with your seniors.

Mood: crazy
Music: Udd Udd Dabangg...